SO, So very ON! OSU over LSU
By: Mark W Adams

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First of All, it's a Spiney, nut. Buckeyes have sharp, razor-like, er . . . um, rabbit resistant pointy thingies, that can prick your finger, become infected, and hurt real bad.

Other than being shaken to my core upon finding out that Roger Ailes and I grew up in the same city today, my conviction in the dominance of The Ohio State University's football team remains true.

[And please note that when one spells out O.S.U., the pretentious "The" must be included -- lest it be confused with my alma matter, the older and much smaller Ohio University whose charter was signed by Thomas Jefferson -- not Woody Hayes. My Bobcats are perennial losers except for their consistent inclusion on the list of Playboy's 10 best party schools, something OSU only dreams of.]

But I digress. Yes, Ara, I Accept your silly challenge, and raise you this little guy -- who will preside over the E. Pluribus Unum masthead for the week following the BCS championship game on January 7, 2008.

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Tickets to his first OSU Championship Game -- $95.00
OSU Jersey -- $40.00
Stadium Hot Dog and Soft Drink -- $8.00
Temporary Tatoo -- $3.00
Teaching him how to salute the LSU Tigers as they enter the Superdome --