The Universe Is Too Silly To Be Designed
By: Mark W Adams

This was too much fun not to share...
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[Via 60 Second Science]

Since we're in the mood for Teh Funny, no doubt you've seen the latest laugher making it's way around Blogtopia from GOP Tool, Dan Bartlet.
That’s what I mean by influential. I mean, talk about a direct IV into the vein of your support. It’s a very efficient way to communicate. They regurgitate exactly and put up on their blogs what you said to them. It is something that we’ve cultivated and have really tried to put quite a bit of focus on.
Almost refreshing, No?

So, from John Cole, via Kevin Drum, who credits Josh Marshall and offers a new motto for Right Wing Blogistan, "Even more credulous and slavish than Fox News. All because Bartlett confirmed what we've all known right along.

Kevin also notes Josh spurred Steve Benen, a.k.a. The Carpetbagger to check on how Fox News covered (or didn't) the No Nuke Iranian NIE -- which may have inadvertently exposed one of the reasons Mike Huckabee had no clue what it was all about. It truly is a study in bamboozlement that certainly explains why people who watch Fox too much are so often wrong about so many things.

Now all of the above, with Josh and Kevin and John and Steve may seem all too incestuous, not dissimilar from the spin regurgitators in Wingnuttystan. What's lacking of course, is someone feeding us on the left with our talking points. There is no Drudge who rules our world. (No, neither does Kos.) But Drudge does have some of the funniest material for the comedy cannon, like this gem:
Vice President Cheney today predicted Iraq will be a self-governing democracy by the time he leaves office, calling the current U.S. surge strategy "a remarkable success story" that will be studied for years to come.
He's half right. We certainly will be looking at this ere for decades, since it will take a generation to pay for cleaning up Cheney's mess, and even longer to unlock the files in his man-sized safe. It's so weird to even think the Cheney way. You could have printed this at The Onion and it would sound just as plausible as Karl Rove pointing out that the Democrats are responsible for everything that has gone wrong the last 7 years, from Katrina to Iraq to the credit crunch.

Jon Stewart rules our world -- and frankly, things just haven't been the same since they Writers went on strike. Not to take anything away from Kieth Olbermann, who is doing journeyman's work in keeping his end of the comedy-news continuum up. When the political world turns itself inside-out like it has this week, having Stewart and Colbert shining their laser pointers at the absurdity is sorely missed.

Of course, sensing this weakness and knowing that "the great national strategic political comedy reserve has been depleted," Bush decided that now the time was ripe to release the National Intelligence Estimate. This blew the GOP's principle warmongering strategy to establish permanent Republican rule through amping up Teh Scary-- and then Bush tell us it didn't say what it said and he didn't care anyway.

Comedy gold -- wasted. So we're left with the InterToobz. But like Ron Paul said (No. 10 on the list of the funniest political quotes of 2007): "I mean, it’s just, to me, unbelievable what you can find out on the Internet."

If you look hard enough, you'll be gratified to find we have Don Imus to kick around again, for a while anyway. You learn that the we have a whole new class of illegal aliens -- AWOL Iraqi Intel officers training here for jobs no American wants, and saying, "to hell with that!"

Stupidity abounds, just look around. And don't be fooled by people who work with lots of numbers and try to draw conclusions from their statistical data. As Shep noted: stupid garbage in -- dumb shit out. Who'd a thunk that most of the 25%ers who still march to Bush's rhythm are also deluded enough to reject any smidgen of self-doubt, pronouncing themselves extraordinarily mentally fit -- proving the Gallup organization about as insightful as the idiots who reported Teh Awseome news that fat people drink diet soda, and not just for the flavor.

To get your fix of funny, you have to know where to look. Raw material can be as simple as putting Drudge Alerts on your cell phone. But to access the belly-laughs of a polished comedy jewel, you're better off checking in with the experts. Seasoned pros who can take a housekeeping memo from Matt-In-Hat, and come up with this...
Today's Drudge Report announces an exciting development for people who like their news the way they like their coffee: simple, bold and kind of gay.
You didn't think of that, did you? You wish you did, though.

I think I'm getting the hang of the basic technique. Take a screaming headline from Drudge (Or Raw Story or Democratic Underground) and simply rearrange the letters in a pleasing manner.


1 Comment:

Kevin Hayden said...

Mark, your email addy needs updating. Would you drop me a line at comcast.net with the beginning ka.hayden@