Witness the Awesome Power of Rahm Emanuel
By: Ara

[cross posted at E Pluribus Unum]

Witness the awesome power...of Rahm Emanuel:

  • Rahm Emanuel uses Tabasco Sauce for eye drops.

  • Rahm Emanuel can get Blackjack with just one card.

  • Republicans created the automobile to escape from Rahm Emanuel...Not to be outdone, Rahm Emanuel created the automobile accident.

  • When Rahm Emanuel was born, the only person who cried was the doctor. Never slap Rahm Emanuel.

  • Rahm Emanuel can sneeze with his eyes open.

  • Rahm Emanuel got a perfect score on his SAT's, simply by writing Rahm Emanuel for every answer.

  • Rahm Emanuel wears Orion's Belt around his pinky toe and he eats with the Big Dipper.

  • Rahm Emanuel eats lightning and farts thunder.

  • Lightning never strikes twice in one place because Rahm Emanuel is looking for it.

  • Rahm Emanuel once played rugby by himself. He went undefeated.

  • On Valentine's Day, Rahm Emanuel gives his wife the still beating heart of a Republican.

I wish I could say I wrote these. I did not. Unfortunately I cannot remember who did. If you know, don't tell Rahm Emanuel.