This Is Of Course Good News For Hillary Clinton
By: Mark W Adams

BREAKING: Dixville Notch, NH, 10:10am EST

This Is Of Course Good News For Hillary Clinton

Despite entrance polling that showed a surprising groundswell of support for Ron Paul and an investigation by the New Hampshire Attorney General into the voter registration activities of ACORN volunteers at a local pre-school, the people of this tiny hamlet so far north the Mayor can see Canada from his house have voted overwhelmingly for Barack Obama by a 70% margin.

A last minute appeal to the Supreme Court to keep the polling center open for more than three minutes was denied and the results of the election were announced despite the protest of the village's one and only minority voter who claimed discrimination in the process was unfair to Native Americans. Erik "The Short" Palin, half-brother of the "First Dude" of Alaska who claims Eskimo ancestry was hoping to be the first (non-early) voter for his Sister-In-Law in the "Lower 48" (Guam opened it's polls 7 hours earlier, closed polling at 5am EST, and shows Obama winning 62%, McCain 37%, Barr 1%).

Unfortunately, the lesser known Palin brother was unable to properly reset his alarm clock from Daylight Saving Time on Sunday like the rest of the country and showed up ten hours late to the polling center. He was given a provisional ballot instead which was immediately challenged by Democratic Party lawyers.

Posted by Mark Adams, Senior Illegal Correspondent
Dispassionate Liberal
Cross Posted at America Street


skaterina said...

you are not kidding, are you, about the brother-in law ? heh

btw i am a new reader here as i came over from American Street after reading your posts there (which i still do)


Mark W Adams said...

Welcome aboard Kate. Believe nothing you read here today -- unless it sounds completely absurd, in which case it might be true.

For example, this sentence is false.