Imus Rulez By: Mark W Adams

I kinda like the Imus rules of evidence.

Quothe Yee Righte Honorable Traitorgate prosecutor, The Fitzinator™:

“If we allow this line of questioning we might as well throw out Wigmore on Evidence and replace it with Imus on Evidence….There is no Imus exception to the hearsay rule.”

Au contrare Mr. Fair-hair. The Imus Rulez would give you this result.

Imus: [to Mary Matlin who first denied saying Tweety hates St. Timmeh, but admitted she called Amb. Wilson a "snake," said that if Scooter wrote it down then despite her earlier denial, it must be true.]

“None of you can tell the truth, it’s insane. It’s like a disease you guys have.”

Think twice Mr Fitz. The Imus Rulez work great for you. They simplify all dealings with anyone attached to the Office of Vice President, the White House, the CIA, Pentagon, NSA or has ever been invited to dinner by Alberto Gonzales. They are all liars.

Now doesn't that make perjury so much easier to prove. Put them under oath, have them state their name, them lock them up.

The grand jury testimony of Lewis Libby begins with him stating his name, followed by this exchange:

Fitzgerald: And do you have a nickname?"

Libby: Yes, Scooter.

F: Can you give us a description of how you got the name Scooter?

L: Are we classified here? (explains, but very vaguely, saying it's a relatively common nickname in the South)

Bailiff! Take him away! See? It's Easy.

Man, I'd really hate to be Libby's attorney now. But then, I hate to lose, no matter how much Tucker's dad paid me.