This One's Hard
By: Mark W Adams

As I get the house ready to welcome the family for Thanksgiving, about 15 to 20 coming over at last count, and keeping otherwise busy, I've been able to avoid thinking too much about it. But it's there and it's huge, because there's one guest who won't be making it.

I've spent 44 Holidays with her, going to her house or her to mine, and just as many while we we under the same roof. She was supposed to make it home from the hospital in time for the annual fall feast, certainly by Christmas at the latest.

We won't be sitting at the dining room table together again. We won't be exchanging gifts or stories. She went into a coma and the doctors don't know how many days she'll last, but she won't be waking up. There's nothing there to wake up. She went without air too long.

She's not there, but she is. We all live in the hearts of those we touch, those we love.

Single mothers raising only-sons make for a unique bond. No matter what, one constant was always, Mom.

I miss you.

(Beverly J. Adams -- 6/3/36 to 11/22/06. I just got the call at 10:30 this morning, and had a few moments alone. I won't be having too many such moments for the next several days. Thank you for your thoughts and wishes.)


Logipundit said...

Hey Mark, just noticed you moved. Moved to blogger a few months ago; isn't it great?

Just updated your link, do you mind updating mind to simply http://www.logipundit.com?


Mark W Adams said...


A couple of years ago, Blogdrive had it all over Blogger, but no longer.

Yellow Dog Sammy said...

Mark -

I'm very sorry for your loss. I hope that you find peace and solace amid your pain.

- Jeff (Yellow Dog Sammy)

shep said...

Email sent.


cindy said...

Hey Mark

I just saw this post and wanted to say I am so sorry to hear about your mom.

Take Care

Mark W Adams said...

Thank you so much, Cindy. It really does mean a lot.

Shep, Jeff, you already got my email, but this really sums up what's up.q

I'm at a point right now where I'm realizing just how many folks I haven't even let know, and behind in thanking folks who have sent me so much support. Like, for instance, I got an "out-of-the-blue" call from my friend Troy in Columbus, and realized that I hadn't contacted anyone else (like him) in my wedding party, including Timmy Smith.

It's weird, feeling a loss, yet overwhelming goodness from so many people wishing me well, and yet, I'm still the same old Putz.

Cyberspace makes it all the more surreal. I've got friends, really good ones, who I never even met. And then, I got a phone call from someone I mainly know online, met once in person, and can't tell you how much that kind of thing means. Ara Rubyan at E.Pluribus Unum is a very special person indeed. He doesn't hesitate to breach that wall between the virtual and real.

I've learned to be a better "real" person, crossing that virtual line, from this experience. It's more important than I ever knew. The big one was a second cousin from Albany, NY who I really only know online and haven't seen for over 30 years -- who made the trip to Warren OH for the funeral. She knew Mom growing up, but to make the 10 hour trip to spend an hour with me and my wife and kids who she never met was amazing.

Where do you begin to express appreciation for that kind of thing?

Well, I've got a lot more thanks you's to write, and I have to bite the bullet and let Timmy know too, but I'd rather call him than e-mail and I can't find his number. Any chance you got it handy? (I'd hate to think how many Smiths there are in the phone book.) And I gotta call my Best Man too (geez, where'd I put that damn number) and more phone calls, cancelling subscriptions, calling Social Security and her pensions to stop the direct deposits (not that the extra cash wouldn't be nice, but they have a way of finding that sort of thing out) ...... and tomorrow's another day, etc.

But I just wanted you to know that it was really nice to read your kind, thoughtful wishes.