Fearing and Loathing Fred Thompson
By: Mark W Adams

Just a sample:

He's Fred Thompson. You're nothing.


* Fred Thompson has on multiple occasions pronounced 'nuclear' correctly.

* Fred Thompson has blasted more people in the face with a shotgun than even Dick Cheney."

* Every night before going to sleep, Osama bin Laden checks under his bed for Fred Thompson.

* Fred Thompson took over what was Al Gore's Senate seat, thereby dramatically reducing the Senate's carbon footprint. Fred Thompson then created carbon offset offsets by wastefully burning hippies.

* The Fremen consider "Fred Thompson" a killing word.

* Only two things can kill Superman: Kryptonite and Fred Thompson.
There's a whole lot more...

Feel free to add your own in the comments, like:
  • Fred Thompson is so macho he doesn't need to ask ... he can tell.

  • Fred Thompson only drinks Tennessee Sour Mash, either Jack Daniel's or George Dickel, straight, no ice. And he can drink more than you.

  • Fred Thompson will never violate the law ... he IS the Law (and Order).

  • Fred Thompson has no fear of Muslims, he thinks they're funny.

  • Fred Thompson won't doesn't need body guards or secret service protection. Bullets bounce off his chest.

  • Fred Thompson can kick Chuck Norris' ass.

  • Men and women both want to be him -- and be with him.

  • Good children love him and bad children fear him, (and it is rumored that Fred Thompson gets final approval of Santa Clause's list).

  • Fred Thompson will end global warming with mind control alone.

1 Comment:

G. A. Roach said...

Fred Thompson taught Don Corleone how to make an offer you can't refuse.