Stringing Up Witches and Penis Theives By: Mark W Adams

April fools day was a while back, and this is after all the 21st century. Which makes this headline perhaps the most disturbing thing to cross Memeorandum I've seen since saying to myself, "Really? Flying penguins? I gotta click that link.

So it's with trepidation I pass along the following:

Lynchings in Congo as penis theft panic hits capital

No, really. If I was good enough to make this stuff up, I would have saved it for next year's list of pranks.

KINSHASA (Reuters) - Police in Congo have arrested 13 suspected sorcerers accused of using black magic to steal or shrink men's penises after a wave of panic and attempted lynchings triggered by the alleged witchcraft.

Now here's where the Harry Potter special effects come in.

Purported victims, 14 of whom were also detained by police, claimed that sorcerers simply touched them to make their genitals shrink or disappear, in what some residents said was an attempt to extort cash with the promise of a cure.

"You just have to be accused of that, and people come after you."

No shit.

I mean, I've had a couple of bad dates in my time, but ... well ... none so bad to make it shrivel up and run away.

Well, I think I'll be crossing Congo off my list of countries to flee to when Dick Cheney's storm troopers start working over my neighborhood.

I know, I'm making light of another culture's deeply held religious beliefs. But let's face it. Some religious practices are just plain whack, like polygamy cults, militant creationists, fatwas on cartoonists, or saying God told you to invade Iraq.

One man's scripture is another man's self-serve voodoo castration ritual.