We're all in this together? Shared sacrifice? Rising tide floats all your boats ... or something? Preposterous!
How dare Barack Obama suggest that we try to save ourselves by having those who are still on relatively sound financial footing throw a rope to the folks drowning in debt before they pull us all over the abyss.
When you come across an insane diatribe from a ridiculous meat puppet like Alan Keyes calling the President of the United States a "radical communist," the first instinct is to dismissively snicker at this strange little man and his ilk. But put in context with the over-the-top screeds of someone like Rick Santelli touting virtues of the poor, down-trodden commodities traders being unfairly forced to buy their neighbor's homes so their own condo suite values don't bottom out makes it all clear -- Obama is Doctor Evil, hell bent on taking over the world.
Good enough for me. I'm convinced. I can't bear to think what the world would look like if the guys who make their living speculating that the price of bacon will out perform today's spot price on Light-Sweet Crude might have to play roulette or (gasp) the Lottery to equal the same bang-for-buck prospects they usually enjoy in what they refer to in all seriousness as "work."
In fact, Obama's no better than any other petty tyrant and dictator we've know throughout history, as bad if not worse than the man whose diabolical genius orchestrated his meteoric rise to power -- George W. Bush.
How else could a country as decadent as America elect a man whose polyglot ancestry bears not one hint of the elite aristocracy that the American peasantry recognizes as entitled to rule our Commercial Republic? Why would the tribal fiefdoms of Hyannisport and Kennebunkport unite with Wall Street to allow someone, anyone who promised change to their entrenched hegemony come to power? Inconceivable.
It must have been a Rovellian plot. The sheer scale of the deception may never be known. The level of plans within plans is hard to appreciate, tarnishing the brand of the entire conservative apparatus, destroying the entire world's economy, convincing everyone on the planet that the Land of Liberty was hell bent on becoming an expansionist empire, allowing only the most two-dimensional buffoons to run in the GOP primaries ... the mind boggles.
Only the folks who were able to pull off the most amazing illusions in modern history -- the Supreme Court appointment of the loser of the 2000 election to the White House AND the reelection of that same miserable failure in 2004, not to mention drumming up enough support for a war against a country that never had anything to do with attacking us -- could possibly have brought Barack The Imapler to power.
It's a plot I tell you, an evil Darwinian plot to redistribute our precious bodily fluids.... GAH!
Image by Getty Images via Daylife