3/6/07

Editorial Changes Proposal
By: Mark W Adams


Contrary to the high road taken by John and Elizabeth Edwards, who display such dignity and class in their response to Ann Coulter's notorious remarks at CPAC, it has been proposed that until further notice the editorial standards of Liberal Blogtopia should maintain a conscious effort to hang the Harpy formally known as The Coultergeist around the neck of GOP presidential contender Mitt Romney, to wit:

I propose that it should henceforth be a matter of editorial policy that the names "Mitt Romney" and "Ann Coulter" always appear in the same sentence regardless of which one we're talking about it. -- Ara Rubyan
In keeping with this new standard, neologisms shall also be acceptable when it is clear from context, or use of gender specific pronouns, to which (or both when appropriate) of the intended conservative manifestations of their bankrupt ideology the author refers.

Therefore, saying, "Mit'Coultergeist hit a new low today," without further contextual clues, is considered vague and sounds far too German (unless of course the intention was that they did indeed appear "mit" each other -- then it's just plain clever). However, "Ann (Romney) Coulter is a shrew because..." is more clear as long as the She-Devil is the object of scorn.

"Mit'Coulter" and "The CoulteRomneyoid" need more references within the sentence or paragraph to enhance proper understanding, such as: "Mit'Coulter's base rejected his flip-flopping pandering today," or "After she learned of the cancellation of her syndicated column, The CoulteRomneyoid flew into a spittle-laced rage and kicked her publicist," are perfectly clear from a contextual and grammatical sense.

Parenthetical phrasing such as "Ann (I loves me some Mitt Romney) Coulter," and "Mitt (Ann Coulter is so foxy) Romney," are perfectly acceptable as long as brevity is not an issue. Likewise, hyphenation works as well, as in "Mitt undresses-Coulter-with-his-eyes Romney" or "Ann lick-my-toes-Mitt-baby Coultergeist" can be informative as well as fitting within this new editorial policy.

Unfortunately because of a tasteless and unsubstantiated rumor regarding the questionable physical attributes of Ann (I wonder what Romney looks like naked) Coulter, referring to Romney and/or Coulter as "Ann check-out-that-buldge Romney" is hopelessly ambiguous.

Please direct any questions or suggestions regarding this new policy to the comment section below. Address any private inquiries to AnnMitCoulteRomney@Albatros.org

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