OH-05: Gimme A G@d D@mn Break

[Bumped and updated, X-posted at D-Kos]

Idiots like this drive me batshit crazy. That's why I'm a Blogger For Weirauch.

Despite the Toledo Blade focusing on her eating habits, Democrat Robin Weirauch is talking about real issues, "things like the war in Iraq, the economy, and health care" that effect all of us. I guess the media fixation on the inane (candidate cat fights and what does a vegetarian do on the rubber-chicken circuit) begins locally, long before graduating to the national megaphones.

The two leading contenders for the Republican Party nomination in Ohio's Fifth Congressional District Special Election are playing a game of "Who's the Real Braindead, out-of-touch Conservative." With a jobless rate in Ohio still well above the national average, a war that's sucking the lifeblood out of this nation and the war drums beating for more, a health care system that needs intensive care, incomprehensible debt, an unweildy trade imbalance, our reputation around the world in the toilet, and a completely disfunctional government -- I can't believe what these two are arguing about.

A day after being found guilty by the Ohio Elections Commission for making false statements about his opponent, congressional candidate Ohio Sen. Steve Buehrer (R., Delta) defended himself against an attack on his conservatism he said was untrue.

Mr. Buehrer repudiated a claim made by his opponent, state Rep. Bob Latta (R., Bowling Green), who said in a mailing to voters that Mr. Buehrer opposed school prayer and publicly posting the Ten Commandments

Aahhhrrrrgggghhh!

Teh Stupids, they do vex me! Brothers and Sisters, let us pray.

My lands are infested with the righteous indignation of mental pigmies. Everywhere the breath of my labors touch can be found the putrid stench of they that are more holier than thou. Those who ride with flaming sword and squishy pants throughout the hills and valleys of outrage and fortune, seeking to indoctrinate the little heathens in our midst with the good word of their piousness.

Yea, though I follow the traffic laws of the shadow of the Maumee River, I shall fear all the idiotic things these morons keep threatening to do.

Give. Me. A. Break.

I have this theory, so bear with me. Every second grader knows the Pledge of Allegience, complete with the "under God" stuff. They can muddle through the lyrics of the Star Spangled Banner and certainly can sing God Bless America. Most Kindergarteners can. They better know this stuff, or we've wasted years of crucial time and money on their lazy butts.

Ask a third grader to recite the First Amendment. Go ahead, I'll wait.

::crickets chirp::

See anything wrong with that?

Hey, Wingnuts. "ALL I REALLY NEED TO KNOW I LEARNED IN KINDERGARTEN" was NOT meant to be taken literally. It's merely meant to be cute, and really just sort of like guidelines. Okay? No wonder these guys duke it out for the most uninformed voters they can sell their snake-oil to.

Mr. Buehrer also said he was in favor of school prayer to the extent the Constitution allows it. Mr. Latta's campaign based its claims on a 2002 survey for the non-profit Project Vote Smart, in which he didn't endorse teacher-led voluntary prayer in public schools.

And now Buehrer denies it. Go figure?

I don't know which is worse, that Beuhrer is pissing his pants about neglecting to endorse something that has been found to be unconstitutional (but only to the extent it might be, you know, non-un-constitutional, or something like that), or that his opponent, Bob "Bible-Thumpin" Latta is way ahead in the polls.

But worry dear friends, my people, ye of little faith (or no faith whatsoever). Worry a lot. These folks got the Big Time Bling. There's been almost half a million bucks raised on the Republican side of this contest. And even though a lot of it is being flushed in this primary pissing match, the winner will have a decent wad-o-cash to go after our girl, Robin Weirauch.

Got some spare change? Want to make sure we don't send yet another Bush-Bot neo-con-poop to Congress? Give early and give often. Bloggers For Weirauch