MoDo's Insatiable Quest For Testicles

Today's Loose Translation of Dowd the Destroyer: If Obama doesn't want me and my fellow Villagers to do to him what we did to Al Gore, he better not accept the Vice Presidency under Hillary.

The superdelegates are watching to see if Obama can stiffen his backbone. After seeing their candidates lose races they should have won in 2000 and 2004 because they flinched at Republican political waterboarding, Democrats do not want to watch the bully swipe their lollipop a third time.

No Maureen, the superdelegates are watching you mete out exactly the same schtick you used to bludgeon the last two Democratic candidates, both of whom were Vietnam vets and vastly more qualified than the Disgustus Tex you and your ilk foisted on the nation, and praying this time the rest of the Villagers in Versailles on the Potomac ignore your insipid penis envy.

... he will now have to come to grips with something he has always skittered away from: You can’t be elected president unless you prove you’re tough.

Unless of course your name is Hillary, and then you have to prove you can be feminine, but not too feminine, since everyone already knows you're tough. Seriously, it must take a tremendous dick to satisfy this succubus? No doubt her vibrator has a kickstand.

How many clever dog whistles can we find to alert the rest of the press corps to grab their torches and cry, "Homo!" as they launch their tired game yet again -- this time to in support a broken old man whose time is long past, yet one of the few GOPers who didn't duck out of putting their ass in harms way some 40 years ago.

She describes Obama as, "... slender, chewing Nicorette and perfectly groomed in his crisp white shirt ..." and complaining, or actually, "whiny." Translation: "Obambi" is gay, insecure, metrosexual, bitchy.

Man the battlements boys! To Arms!

In the world according to Dowd, Senator Obama's advisers are a decidedly French sounding, "coterie." They lack all the asshole gene that enables Hillary to be ""shameless" and her "kneecapper" hacks to be complete hypocrits, "with a straight face," as if that's a desirable quality in public service -- superior to any "egghead ... effete and vaguely foreign," member of Obama's staff.

If he thinks Hillary has cut him down to size lately, he’d better imagine what his life would be like as the Clintons’ vice president.

Actually Maureen, I think we have a very good idea exactly how deeply you plan to rhetorically emasculate Barack Obama even if he is at the top of the ticket. Would you feel better if he bought himself a ranch?